Watering The Mustard Seed

I am creating a series to share a summary of a hard to find and out of print book from Israel. I first heard it referenced in Samuel Martin’s book, Thy Rod and Thy Staff, They Comfort Me which can be read for free on his website: https://biblechild.com. I started looking for the book at the beginning of 2022 and couldn’t find a single copy to buy until two years later when someone listed it on an international eBay profile. At $40 this is one of the most expensive used books I’ve gotten to date. It’s been completely worth it, though. The insight in this book has been priceless and like nothing I’ve seen published in the US. 

Sparing the Rod, A Torah Perspective on Reward and Punishment in Education was published by Mishear Publishing Co., Ltd in Bnei Brak, Israel in 1989.

I consider myself to be in the gentle parenting camp. Sparing the Rod is not a “Gentle Parenting” book. It is primarily a book for Torah-aligned discipline guidance for teachers in an education setting. There are some things in this book that I do not agree with, however I am sharing all pertinent points. You can discern what should be applied and what should be modified. Despite some disagreements I have, I think Sparing the Rod brings a much needed context to the table for Christians living in a Western society. Munk uses Torah scripture (aka the Old Testament) and insight from Torah experts (he calls them “Talmudic Sages”) to show that there are limited provisions to physically punish a minor. However, he is honest about the intent of scripture and points the reader to great restraint and wisdom in handling their charges. The insight on the limitations of punishment and the context of punishment is where I think this book really shines. 

This book presents that even though we *can* physically punish a child under certain circumstances, we should consider the following: 

• It should be a last resort and rarely implemented
• Only used with the minimum amount of force to make the point
• Done without inciting public shame to the child
• Only if educator/parent has established a warm and loving relationship with the child
• Done with an understanding of the child’s true weakness and not the superficial wrong

The next posts will break down the book by chapter and supplementary essays. The contents are as follows:

1. Before Disciplining
2. The Educator’s Tools
3. The Right Way to be Strict
4. Responding to Wrongdoing
5. Types of Punishment
6. A Right Hand that Draws Others Close

Appendix: R. Moshe Feinstein on Disciplining Pupils

Supplementary Essays

1. Discipline: A Parent’s Duty
2. An Educating Home
3. Educating the Young Child 

I hope this series is as edifying for you to read as it has been for me to write. I pray that I have interpreted and distilled this book accurately, though I know my own bias and ignorance of Hebrew will influence my wording choice in places. 

As much as I continue to advocate the ideals and goals of the gentle and respectful parenting movement, after reading this book, I do see a limited time and place for certain types of punishment. I still rarely use that tool and pray to use it less and less as I grow my parenting toolbox. 

Housekeeping notes: 

There are many Hebrew words and phrases throughout this book. Most of the time, when I put a word in brackets, it is to define a necessary Hebrew word. If you read the book yourself someday, note that it’s a little choppy in places to get through as an English-only reader (aka, me).

I default to “he/him” as a generic term that can be applied to males or females. This is the traditional way to create smooth writing and it doesn’t mean this information is only for boys and male teachers. The book also uses the male as the default term.